Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Where Does Weird Come From?

I was trying to pinpoint when I knew I was "weird" according to social norms, or when I first became "weird". Surely a baby is not "weird"? Hmm . . .

Well, I know I challenged a lot of kids with all kinds of issues, though most of the time it was religion. I remember telling other eight year olds there was no god and having extensive repetitive debates consisting mainly of childish points such as,
"If there is a god, where is he?"
"In the sky."
"Why haven't astronauts seen him?"
"He's everywhere!"
"That doesn't make sense. Why can't I see him?"
And so on. We all know the futility of this debate on both sides. It was around this time that I remember first being somewhat of an outcast. (Strangely enough, not for these religious debates.)

At about eight I was playing with friends outside and was wearing a thin knitted short sleeved top my mother had made me. My friends brought out a sprinkler and so I took this knitted top off to run through. One of my friends was no longer allowed to associate with me after that vulgar display.

What else? My favourite books as a child were about witches and cats, my favourite toy as a toddler was a stuffed witch I named "Selfish", my teachers in very early grade school had to call home because I said I wanted to be a hooker when I grew up and I was teaching the other kids the facts of life, my grade seven enrichment teacher told me I was morbid . . . hmm, nope, can't think when this all started.

One thing I can say for sure: I loved being different when I was little, then I went through an awkward year or two wanting to fit in and not understanding why I didn't and now again I love it. Not that I try to be different, I just enjoy being who I am. :)

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