I Wanna Be Me . . . I Wanna Be Free

This Thursday past I cut my hair. I had been wanting a death hawk for years and had always shied away from cutting off so much hair -- a drastic change for someone who has had long hair pretty much her whole life. As time goes by, however, I see slight lines forming in my skin, grey hairs . . . I realise today is as good a day as any. Hair grows back. So I sectioned it off, braided the sides and with scissors poised got the final go ahead from my two-year old son: "Hair off, mummy!"

Unfortunately not everyone shares in his innocent enthusiasm. Now, I don't expect everyone to like it. It's not a popular hairstyle and I understand it is one of those fashion choices that still evokes a widely negative response. Knowing this, I don't ask for opinions. I am an adult, I make my own decisions and I don't need anyone's approval.

 I learned very early on a lesson which changed how I would see myself:

There will always be someone who disapproves.

No matter your clothes, your make-up, your hair . . . there will always be someone there to put you down for it. People often put others down to make themselves feel better and so they will find the most arbitrary reason to do so. If you choose to wear what you like, wear clothes that make you feel good, make-up that you like, do whatever you want with how you present yourself then yes, you will likely have many people putting you down (keep in mind that some of them will be doing so out of ignorance, some out of insecurity and a good number because they resent your ability to express yourself in a way they feel they can't) but you will also have some admirers who may follow your lead and their own hearts, too.

As a reminder to those who may have forgotten: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! It is hurtful beyond words to have your nearest and dearest express unsolicited their distaste for something as trivial as your fashion sense. It's uncalled for and is in no way helpful to anyone.

How do I feel about my haircut? My husband loves it, my son loves it and I love it. I truly adore it. It's the most fun thing I've ever done with my hair. <3

Artists . . .

Artists . . .

How do YOU not feel overwhelmed?

There are days or weeks or sometimes months during which I feel useless. I know no one's unique so I know others must feel this, too. A feeling that nothing I have to say, nothing I feel, nothing I write could possibly contribute in any way to the world. That is to say -- no one is unique. Why say it? Why draw it? Why try?

I try to listen to inspiring music or generally consume as much beauty and art as I can to spur me on but I just end up feeling like I have nothing to add. In a world with so much awe-inspiring beauty what could I possibly add? I'm a mediocre artist. Any arts or crafts I do are okay, that is to say I'm adept at picking up the basics of a good number of art forms but I am not exceptional at any one.

I digress.

Where I meant to go with this is just as I said: How do you not feel overwhelmed? With all the audio and visual stimuli available to us online how do the artists out there continue to actually want to put their art out there? Better yet: how do you continue to CREATE freely?